to a pregnant woman.
I think I'm far enough removed from pregnancy now that I can write this. Had you asked me about four and a half months ago what not to say to a pregnant woman, I would have said, "anything."
I was scrolling through Facebook today and loved seeing how many friends I have that are pregnant or that have bitty babies like we do. A lot of you probably have pregnant friends or maybe you'll be seeing your expecting cousin Susy at Christmas dinner. Take some lighthearted advice from me and help Susy to enjoy her holidays.
So behold: Things to Not Say to a Pregnant Lady
1. Sleep now, because you won't sleep once baby is here!
Susy will smile and say, "Oh, I know!" but odds are really good that she's not sleeping now as it is. If she's early on in pregnancy, there's a good chance she's too sick feeling to get a good night's sleep. At the end of pregnancy, back/hip/stomach/what have you pain will likely be keeping Susy awake.
2. Should you be eating that?
Any expectant mother that's done her research or gone to the doctor has been briefed on what she should or should not be consuming while pregnant. Hovering over her will and watching her food choices will not make Susy happy. It will likely just make Susy annoyed and afraid to eat in front of you and Susy needs to eat!
3. You don't even look pregnant!
There are several reasons Susy may not look pregnant. It may be too early for her to be showing. Maybe her shirt is fashioned so that it doesn't accentuate the bump. She more than likely feels pregnant and you don't want to dash her pregnant lady dreams!
4. Are you sure it's not twins?
I was walking in to Staples after school one day and I had just started wearing maternity clothes, so I'm not sure how far along I was but I was definitely showing. I passed a kind older man and we said "hello" to each other.
"Beautiful weather we're having, isn't it?" he asked.
"It is really is nice outside!" I answered and kept on going.
"Hey, looks like TWINS to me!"
Thank you, stranger.
*Fun fact. I spoke to someone near my classroom one day that told me I hardly looked pregnant. I walked to the other end of the hallway, where I was told I must be having twins because my bump was so big. Babies do grow really quickly over the course of 2.5 minutes.
5. You're pregnant. You need to eat until your cheeks are fatter.
...moving on
And the grand finale.
6. How much weight have you gained?
Imagine confronting a non-pregnant woman that looks like she may have gained some weight. Can you imagine asking her how much weight she's gained? Now think about sweet, innocent Susy that's busy growing a little one. "Hey Susy, how many pounds have you packed on?" Susy probably isn't going to want to tell you that number. Susy may not even know how much weight she's gained. I have spoken to several women that avoided looking at the scale during OB appointments. Or Susy knows exactly how many pounds she's gained and she's going to smile and say, "You know, I'm just not sure!" ;)
Disclaimer - I was okay with sharing that number with a few select people, like my husband and parents. But to the person I've talked to for approximately eleven minutes over the course of the past year...
So, consider the beautiful pregnant women in your life and encourage them.
Safe things to say are:
"You look great!"
and
"That shirt looks awesome on you."
and
"You look great!"
and
"Good luck with everything!"
and
"Hey, you look great!"
Now run along and talk to Susy.
Any other pregnant/recently pregnant/have-been-pregnant-before women have anything to add? I'd love to hear your advice!
